Rape, responsibility and the blame game.
Rape. Not a good thing I would imagine we can all agree. Even more black and white than murder, in many ways. Whilst it's possible to concieve of a situation where the taking of another human life might be the best course of action (self defence, mercy killing) it's impossible to envisage a situation where rape might be the morally correct response.
But for such a cut and dried subject rape has an amazing ability to create controversy. For some men the spectre of false accusation seems to loom large, whereas a majority of women are understandably touchy about anything that suggests that rape is somehow all their own fault.
And there are, unfortunately, plenty of people who do seem to think that rape is women's fault. At least partially. Another study out on the subject last month has revealed that quite startling numbers of students (more than a third in some cases) still believe that a woman is somehow responsible for her own assault if she commits any number of transgressions. From the minor (wearing a short skirt) to the bizarre ( a 'flirtatious' manner... however the hell you quantify or recognise such a thing).
These attitudes are damaging and nonsensical and treated with horror and derision by the feminist community for good reason. Aside from anything else the facts show that wearing short skirts, sleeping around, even (gasp) drinking alcohol don't actually raise your chances of being raped. Living with a man on the other hand most certainly does, and having male friends? - You might as well lie on your back now. Where are the jeering baying crowds declaring that wives and mothers are bringing it on themselves? And why do you never see government initiatives warning women against the perils of allowing a male friend or boyfriend to walk them home after a night out?
The fact is, there are plenty of people who still seem to see rape as a social problem rather than anything else. An inevitable consequence of men's libidos and women's inability to be other than objects of sexual desire. And if you think like this then of course you are going to lay some of the blame at women's feet. If it's a fact of life that men can't control themselves then putting yourself in temptation's way is stupid and naieve. And if the boundaries get a little blurry as a result of this, then it might be unfortunate but really, what did you expect to happen?
The idea that rapes occur when an irresponsible woman and an over-excitable man somehow cross paths decriminalises rape and reduces it to the level of a pair of naughty children both deserving of a slap on the wrist and not much more. The idea that she was silly and he was boisterous and they are both as bad as the other is offensive and ridiculous. Almost as ridiculous as those arguments that compare women who go to parties or walk home alone with expensive cars... if you don't lock your car then of course you are partially to blame if it gets stolen. And if you refuse to sit at home, covered from head to toe in black and avoiding eye contact with any male whom you do accidentally come to meet, then you have to accept the possibility that you will be raped. Except, women are people, not cars. And I believe that every woman has the right to live her life as she sees fit without the fear that she will be afforded less support and protection should she fail to adequately protect the property that is her own body.
In truth, while it might take two to Tango, it actually doesn't take two to commit a rape. To be involved in a rape, yes, but to actually commit the criminal act one person and one person alone is responsible. And because I don't actually believe that men are no more than drooling, gibbering idiots unable to control their own rampant sexuality then this is where the responsibility must be placed. The blame game ends on the doorstep of the actual rapist. To suggest otherwise is to do both men and women a massive disservice. Let's be thankful that, depressing as the figures sometimes appear, a majority of people do seem to recognise this.
But for such a cut and dried subject rape has an amazing ability to create controversy. For some men the spectre of false accusation seems to loom large, whereas a majority of women are understandably touchy about anything that suggests that rape is somehow all their own fault.
And there are, unfortunately, plenty of people who do seem to think that rape is women's fault. At least partially. Another study out on the subject last month has revealed that quite startling numbers of students (more than a third in some cases) still believe that a woman is somehow responsible for her own assault if she commits any number of transgressions. From the minor (wearing a short skirt) to the bizarre ( a 'flirtatious' manner... however the hell you quantify or recognise such a thing).
These attitudes are damaging and nonsensical and treated with horror and derision by the feminist community for good reason. Aside from anything else the facts show that wearing short skirts, sleeping around, even (gasp) drinking alcohol don't actually raise your chances of being raped. Living with a man on the other hand most certainly does, and having male friends? - You might as well lie on your back now. Where are the jeering baying crowds declaring that wives and mothers are bringing it on themselves? And why do you never see government initiatives warning women against the perils of allowing a male friend or boyfriend to walk them home after a night out?
The fact is, there are plenty of people who still seem to see rape as a social problem rather than anything else. An inevitable consequence of men's libidos and women's inability to be other than objects of sexual desire. And if you think like this then of course you are going to lay some of the blame at women's feet. If it's a fact of life that men can't control themselves then putting yourself in temptation's way is stupid and naieve. And if the boundaries get a little blurry as a result of this, then it might be unfortunate but really, what did you expect to happen?
The idea that rapes occur when an irresponsible woman and an over-excitable man somehow cross paths decriminalises rape and reduces it to the level of a pair of naughty children both deserving of a slap on the wrist and not much more. The idea that she was silly and he was boisterous and they are both as bad as the other is offensive and ridiculous. Almost as ridiculous as those arguments that compare women who go to parties or walk home alone with expensive cars... if you don't lock your car then of course you are partially to blame if it gets stolen. And if you refuse to sit at home, covered from head to toe in black and avoiding eye contact with any male whom you do accidentally come to meet, then you have to accept the possibility that you will be raped. Except, women are people, not cars. And I believe that every woman has the right to live her life as she sees fit without the fear that she will be afforded less support and protection should she fail to adequately protect the property that is her own body.
In truth, while it might take two to Tango, it actually doesn't take two to commit a rape. To be involved in a rape, yes, but to actually commit the criminal act one person and one person alone is responsible. And because I don't actually believe that men are no more than drooling, gibbering idiots unable to control their own rampant sexuality then this is where the responsibility must be placed. The blame game ends on the doorstep of the actual rapist. To suggest otherwise is to do both men and women a massive disservice. Let's be thankful that, depressing as the figures sometimes appear, a majority of people do seem to recognise this.
posted by Kate | 15:19
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